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Improve Your Personal Listening Quotient
Improve Your Personal Listening Quotient!
from Monica Oakley
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"Conversation in the United States is a competitive exercise in which the first person to draw a breath is declared the listener."
- Nathan Miller
"The road to the heart is the ear"
- Voltaire
As professionals we all spend a major portion of our day actively listening to our patients, recognizing that listening is integral to optimal patient care. Often, however, we do not give our families and friends our best "listening ears".
Whether it is because of time constraints, familiarity with the issues, or multi-tasking, our personal listening quotient usually can be improved! |
Let's do a brief self-assessment:
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1. On a scale of 1-100, rate yourself as a listener ____
2. Rate each of the following people as listeners (1-100)
Parents____ Best Friend____
Siblings_____ Supervisor_____
Spouse/Partner____ Co-worker _____
Children______
3. Think of the best listener you know and list the qualities that
make them a good listener. ________________________
4. Think about a person you consider a poor listener and list the reasons that make them a poor listener. _______________
Ironically, most of us rate ourselves higher than others in this self- assessment, usually above 85%. However, in skill development assessment, the average score is usually less than 40%.
Now, think about the last time you had what most of us call "miscommunication". What was your impression of what happened? ___________
Who was responsible for the misinterpretation?
Some sources say that as much as 70-90% of all communication is filtered or changed by the receiver.
In order to be the best possible listener, YOU must assume 100% of the responsibility for understanding and receiving the message sent to you.
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Let's take a look at the Common Listening Blocks or reasons for "Tuning Out"
(Put a check mark next to the ones that you know affect your ability to listen)
_______ Inability to stay focused, this can be due to daydreaming, impatience, or disinterest
_______ Clairvoyance, believing you already know what is being said, mind-reading, often due to "hearing the same thing before"
_______ Evaluating the speaker due to stereotyping/bias, comparing self to speaker, evaluating delivery of message/content
_______ Filtering the message, allowing your perceptions, values, and emotional triggers to accept/reject the message
_______ Discomfort with silence, filling all the pauses with direct questions, being time urgent
_______ Trying to problem-solve, belief that a resolution must be found, that your role is to advise and help find an answer
_______ Rehearsing, planning/practicing your response/rebuttal
_______Discomfort with emotional discussion, belief that feelings cloud or interfere with the message |
During the next two days, think about your listening traits and review your listening blocks when communicating with your family or friends……
In Part 2, we will look at 5 Distinct Listening Styles and ways to Improve Your Personal Listening Quotient!
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